Who would’ve thought that a passing hobby of mine many years ago would flourish and grow, helping me develop as a person, allow me to meet wonderful individuals whom I now call friends, and open so many doors of opportunities for me.
If I had to pick my top 3 most dreaded sicknesses, diabetes has got be one of ’em.
I have a lot of friends and family who suffer from diabetes… I’ve witnessed how painfully tedious and careful one has to be in order to keep this kind of sickness in check. Granted that the meticulous work of caring for oneself eventually becomes a way of life and pretty much “automatic”, it still doesn’t mean that it doesn’t get tiring and depressing at times.
Mom, Dad and Me (Feb 18, 2012 – Mom’s last birthday)
1 year ago today, exactly on the eve of my birthday, you closed your eyes and went to sleep for the very last time. Not a day goes by that we don’t think of you.
And so, as much as this day is about my birth… it is all the more about your life.
A bittersweet birthday is upon me. I once again celebrate my coming into the world… but it also falls on the same day last year when my mother passed away.
For those who aren’t aware, yes… my mom died on the eve of my birthday (August 7) last year – around 3AM.
Earlier, my wife and I went over the topic of how my mother’s passing on exactly the eve of my birthday could’ve actually been more deliberate on her part rather than coincidental.
You see, my mom and I never really saw eye to eye on a lot of things. We’d disagree a lot of times.
A couple of weeks before she passed, there was a prodding from inside of me to talk to my mother about certain moments in our lives wherein our “less petty” disagreements have affected our relationship towards one another – to put some sense of definite closure on things. But her stubborn denial of her own sickness was a hurdle too difficult for me to overcome. She gets all worked up when I, together with my wife and kids surround her… she would normally say, “Ano ba kayo??? Wag niyo ako paligiran. Para naman akong mamamatay na sa itsura ninyo”. She would react defensively when sensing that things are getting too serious. Perhaps, it was her way of coping with her sickness… a means to shun the thought of coming to terms with what was inevitable.
I feared that if I spoke to her even in the slightest tone that would somewhat resemble reconciliation and forgiveness, she would freak out and push me away. She’s like that. And stressing her out with the kind of condition that she has was the last thing I’d want to do.
My mom and I are “ok”. I guess, there is that unspoken forgiveness that mothers always extend to their children no matter what circumstance. I’ve always sought comfort in that for as long as I can remember. But things are a bit different this time… I was looking for something more concrete – a sort of confirmation that things are really OK between me and my mother. It was something I was hoping to get before she leaves me.
Guys, check out Smart Parenting’s feature on me which can be read via their website on the “Dad We Love” section. It talks about life, love, kids and everything else in-between.
I remember our wedding day as if it was just yesterday. All the feelings and emotion I felt during that day are so vivid to me until now. That was back in 2001. March 24th, 11AM to be exact.
The excitement, anxiety and stress not just ON that day but the series of days leading up to it was one for the books.
Admit it, married gentlemen. You all know that weddings aren’t just little white doves and soft confetti showers.
But I tell ya, guys and girls. It is all worth it. ALL OF IT. The good and the bad. When you find the right woman/man (I’m talking to all the bachelors and single ladies), never let go. Married life is an awesome experience. It never gets old, contrary to what others say. You just have to keep at it… Marriage is a non-stop work in progress.
It is a life not to be dreaded. Embrace it and nurture it. Like wine, it gets better as it ages… Pardon the cliche.
So I say this to my wife: Honey, I may have made awful decisions in my life… But as I look back time and again, I realize that these choices are not to be regretted. Because as terrible as it may have seemed back then, ultimately it has led me to you… and THAT is one awesomely GOOD thing. You and our kids are the ONLY things I will never exchange for anything in this world.
Wow. 11 wonderful years. And when I say “wonderful”, I refer even to the difficult times of our married life. And God knows there were some really difficult ones, right?
But that’s a good thing, too. For how can one appreciate the true beauty and goodness of life if one hasn’t equally endured the struggles and hardships of it.
Thank you, Yen. For your love. For your time. For the continuous effort you put into this marriage. For being the mother of my children.
He commented on my blog entry: “SentiSabado encourages people (especially kids) to go and make new memories, today!”
Make new memories…
That phrase stuck in my mind… Why do kids nowadays have to be encouraged to go and make new memories today?
Encourage them? Isn’t that supposed to come naturally? Aren’t memories formed by every action we take and every interaction we engage in?
It is in pondering this that I ultimately realized the reason why we, the so called “Gen X/Y” babies, have so much memories and nostalgia compared to those who were born in the 90s. We actually had more interaction with the world… the people around us… the things we did… the places we’ve been to… the experiences we’ve gone through…
Not because we are (obviously) older than them. No.
The main culprit (in my honest opinion): computers, game consoles, internet, cable TV, etc.
Kids nowadays are holed up in their own imaginary world playing PSPs, iPhones, Farmville, and all those other time-consuming-and-attention-grabbing devices.
Heck! I see a good number of kids and teens playing with PSPs at the mall even while walking!
Whatever happened to engaging conversations or laughing at simple jokes… or the friendly banter every now and then… or even simply looking at your surroundings while walking? Does it ever exist anymore… with the younger ones for that matter?
Back then, our idea of recreation and fun was climbing a tree, hanging out in the park with friends, playing “tumbang preso” till it became too dark to play outside. Even our toys back in the day would encourage us to interact with others (Can you imagine playing tex by yourself? Or play “touchball” without a friend”?). Going to the mall was an exciting experience for us every single time… just to walk around and see the new places… we’d take everything in and love every minute of it.
The only time we’d be caught inside the house was either due to homework… or because it was time for our weekly dose of Saturday morning cartoons.
What will these new generation of kids look back at when they grow older? What kind of memories will they have? If they had their own form of #SentiSabado, what sort of nostalgia will they reminisce on?
Moments such as “hanging out from dusk till dawn playing counterstrike in the internet cafe”, maybe? Or “how Farmville changed Facebook gaming”? Or perhaps, “watching all sorts of trailers on YouTube” and “reaching the high score of “Need for Speed” on the PSP while ascending the escalator”…?
Don’t get me wrong… PSPs, cable TV, the internet are all cool! They’re great!
But anything in excess is unhealthy.
So, going back to my first question… “Encouragement?”
Of course. No doubt!
If for no other reason, let #SentiSabado be the means to help encourage kids… to limit video games… to lessen cable TV watching… to set restrictions on certain activities…
…to get out more… to interact physically… to engage… to feel the breeze, smell the air… to live… love… laugh… to make mistakes… and learn from them…